Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Thursday, June 17, 2010


Let me preface this with a note saying that this blog is also my diary of our adoption journey so I feel that it is important to write down everything, good and bad, that we come across on the way to adopting our child because I want to be able to look back at this blog and remember everything we felt and went through. This particluar post is one that I have written and deleted numerous times but people keep bringing this up, and I'm not gonna lie, it hurts and I need to write about it.

Why do people have to keep asking me if we will be able to view a child's medical records before we adopt them? Why do people have to keep telling me about other people they've "Heard of" who adopted children and now had to put them in an institution? Why don't people realize that we will be happy with a child who is less than perfect? Its one thing to be genuinly concerned about us and it is another to say something like "Well so and so got a child from there too, and they had something wrong with them so now they've put them in an institution. Its really sad. I sure hope everything works out for you." Gee thanks! If I was pregnant with a child, no one would say something like "Well so and so was pregnant too and their child was born with something wrong with them, so I hope you are really looking into this being pregnant thing and make sure you know what you're getting into."

Just for the record, adopting a child (for me anyways) is just like being pregnant. God gave me my two children. I didn't get to choose what they would look like or how they would act when they were conceived. I wouldn't love them less if they had been born less than what the world views as perfect. Adopting is no different. God has chosen a child (or children) for us. Instead of being pregnant this time, we have to go bring this child home. They are still our child. We don't know what God has in store for us, or who He has chosen to be our child, but one thing is for certain; when I see my child, I won't be worried about what obstacles we may have to help them overcome, I will be thinking how beautiful they are and how lucky I am for God to have called me to be their mommy.


laurietw said...

It's been almost 6 years since we adopted our son, and we still get so many rude questions. Like you wrote, questions that people would never ask if he/she is your bio. child. The questions usually start with, "I hope this isn't too personal, but. . . "

I love this post and appreciate your honesty! :-)

kim said...

nice blog Erin! I can relate :o) All the challenges will just be an opportunity to see the almighty God at work. He's got your back and will get you through all of it as more than a conqueror. Your children will arise and call you blessed and your husband also...

Somewhere In The Sun said...

Sadly, this is only the beginning of rude questions. I've learned to "try" not to take them personally and use the opportunity to "try" to educate people. It's kind of like strangers who touch your pregnant tummy...they think they have the right when they surely do not!

And I agree with you that having bio kids and adopted kids is just the same. They just come to you in different ways. Great post!


sarah said...

I wanted to stand up and clap or shout Amen.
Great post!

Mama of 2 and Counting... said...

Wow 4 comments! :) I'm glad to see everyone can relate. I expected this to some degree, just not from certain people.

Kat said...


From a fellow PAP and in-process adoption blogger, thank you for such a wonderful post. It mirrors my thoughts exactly!

The Williams Blog said...

Amen! We are a month away and got the comment, "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" My child is sleeping in an orphanage and has no idea that their mom and dad are doing everything in their part to get you home, So you tell me. And that was family!

Praying for strength for you family, perseverance through the struggles, and hope for a child/ren through all the doubters.

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson