Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Changing Perspective

I've been reading back over my posts the last few days and I've kind of realized something that I already knew. My tone has kind of gone a bit towards focussing on what has gone wrong, and not so much on what has gone right. I know why.

There is a situation between some of my family members that is a source of pretty much constant fighting. I have distanced myself as much as possible, but still I care about these people and when word of what they are doing gets back to me, it makes me upset. Very recently I heard about the latest stuff going on and there is even a very significant date where important issues will be ruled upon, that is within ONE day of our submission date. I heard that and was just like SERIOUSLY? I can't even just have that one day to be happy without this drama interferring??

I don't ask that people be as excited as I am about our adoption. It is really nice when other people ask about it and show enthusiasm because it is something to be excited about! But what is really upsetting me is that I feel like not only are the people that I love and desire support from are not only not excited for us, but are putting all of their efforts into something else that has a very negative impact so I am not even able to be excited about our adoption by myself because I now have this "thing" looming over us and I'm wondering what the outcome will be instead of focussing on how HAPPY I am for our adoption process progress.

How was that for a run on sentence??

Anyways, I realized that having this thing hanging over my head is making me feel rather negative and grumpy about everything. I have rapidly developed the "Well of course it went wrong. EVERYTHING goes wrong because everyone is a jerk!"

And that is not true.

So much has gone right for us in this process and many people have helped us in ways that I never expected.

So I have decided that even if its not easy, I will quit focussing on the negative things I cannot change. I will focuss on what an awesome God we have and all of the amazing ways He has comfirmed with us that we are on the right path and He will continue to provide for us thoughout this process. I will remember how blessed we are and how happy I am to be a mommy and what a wonderful family we have and how much we love each other. THAT is why we are doing this after all, because we wanted to share our family with children who have none.

Yes, there have been comments and suggestions that hurt. Telling a family member that you are adopting from Ukraine and having them respond with a "I wish you'd adopt one from here instead" still hurts. Having people email you about children they've "heard" about needing to be domestically adopted and telling you to email "this person here" and inquire about them, and then a few hours later emailing back and telling you that those kids already found a family really sucks. REALLY SUCKS. I cannot even go into how upset that made me. I take it as a lesson to always really THINK about how what I am saying to someone will make them feel, because it really really sucks to not be given that same consideration.

I think many comments originate from ignorance. Christians are called to orphan care. James 1:27 TELLS Christians to care for orphans and widows. Not everyone is called to adopt, but if you call yourself a Christian and you want to live out pure and undefiled religion, that verse is directed at YOU. There are so many more ways to care for orphans than to adopt. In fact I've seen the statistic that says that if only 7% of people who say they are Christians adopted just ONE orphan, there wouldn't be anymore. That is less than 1 in 10 so the other 9 in 10 Christians can be caring for orphans in other ways besides adopting. So if someone tells me that they are adopting from Liberia, or Bulgaria, or adopting domestically; I will be happy for them! A child without a family is a child in need of a family no matter where they are. God calls each of us where WE are most needed. Not where John or Sue or Dave are needed. Where WE are needed.

We have been called to Ukraine.

So with all of that off my chest, maybe now I can concentrate on tomorrow being only ONE WEEK from our submission day!! Phillip and I are so excited to think that we might be in Ukraine by late next month :) We have seen God prepare the way for us to go and we have complete faith that God has not brought us this far to fail. There is a child (or children) in Ukraine that He has chosen us to be parents for and we are SO excited to find them!

Oh and our 7 year anniversary is the 18th, just 4 days after we submit so ya know what would be the BEST anniversary present EVER. I know, I know... 4 days is way too soon to hear anything but it would be nice... We are really hoping for an appointment date by Thanksgiving just because we really want to be home by Christmas but its all in God's time so we'll wait and see what we get.

One more thing: Travel insurance. Anyone want to share what kind they purchased? We've been told that it would be a good idea to purchase medical evacuation insurance. Yep.

Second thing (hah) I have noticed that I am getting a lot more traffic to my blog. Exciting! So please feel free to leave me comments and share your blogs. I love reading other people's blogs!


Zack & Jennifer Dove said...

If you have peace from God, then you have no need to justify your actions or decisions. The world (neighbors, friends, family, even fellow church members) may criticize or attack, but your silent witness speaks so much more than you trying defend what you're doing. Quietly follow, and rely on Him to get you through it.

By the way, we didn't purchase travel insurance either time. Guess we like to live on the edge :)

Gary and Tina said...

Praying for you. Keep you chin up you are doing the right thing. God knows whats best for you so keep your eye on Him.

Healy Family said...

We didn't purchase travel insurance either - either trip.

If God has called you to adopt from Ukraine - then you are absolutely in the right place doing the thing He wants you to do!

Your timeline sounds similar to what ours was 2 years ago - our dossier was submitted in october and we left the wednesday before thanksgiving for our SDA appt on that Friday.

I'm excited for you and this journey you are ready to embark on! We brought back to girls/sisters a year and a half ago - they are now 12 and 13 and doing so well!

Hang in there and good luck!

Mama of 2 and Counting... said...

Healy Family, I so hope we get an appointment around the same time you did :) I wanna be home for Christmas!

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson