Its happened several times since we've been home already. We go out somewhere and someone asks me (in front of my children) "So why did you decide to adopt?"
Ummm... little ears are listening, I feel put on the spot to defend our decision and explain why adoption is such a great thing and how we felt called by God to Ukraine, but is that fair to my children? Is that fair to me? No one asks, "So why did you decide to have kids?" No one asks me if I knew my kids were healthy and perfect while I was pregnant with them. Mariah is pretty much fluent in understanding English now, and even if she doesn't understand what is being asked, she very soon will!
I feel like the question singles her out and will make her and my other kids think that there is some reason we should NOT have chosen to adopt her.
So what do you say? I know I'm not alone with this issue.
I've had it happen twice now in a doctor's office sitting and by my child's pediatrician while she was examining the child she is asking about. I guess the question is innocent enough but I'm afraid my children are going to hear that asked one day and my response is going to leave them wondering if I didn't have a good reason. You only really get one shot at explaining something like that the right way and I don't think its fair to me or my kids to have it brought up in public!
I am really leaning towards answering the question with a simple, "Because Ukraine is where Mariah was.", and leave it at that!
Of course if someone wants to ask me this question without my children present, I am more than happy to give a lengthy explanation, especially if they are interested in adopting themselves! I love to talk about our experience and how God called us to Ukraine, but for people to just pop the question like that in front of my kids just to see what I say... I am having a hard time with giving an answer I'm comfortable with.