I really don't go a day without thinking about her. Some days she is always on my mind. Today when I was fixing Mariah's hair that has finally gotten long enough to do something with, she mentioned that Susanna and Natasha had "beeg hair."
Natasha had beautiful long hair. One day she had double french braids that had been doubled back up and clipped somehow so that the pigtails were looped around on the back of her head. So cute!! I think maybe they did her hair up because her grandmother was coming to see her. Another day I caught a glimpse of her in the grouppa with all of her hair down and it was still so pretty...
What happens to beautiful girls who graduate to detsky doms and internats and then out into the cruel world in their mid teens just makes me so sad. I know what her future is if she is not adopted. Mariah was able to be adopted because of her special needs. I don't know about Natasha. Being healthy and pretty shouldn't be a life sentence to an orphanage just like having special needs shouldn't be a ticket to a mental institute... I find myself wishing she'd show up on a photolisting somewhere with a health problem that makes her available for international adoption.
And again I ask God, "Why?" Why did I have to see her?
I really feel like I left part of my heart there.