Its been a crazy six months. We've all had to do a lot of adjusting. Some of it has been really hard, and some was just figuring each other out.
To be honest, its probably been the most trying 6 months of my life and for me, that is saying quite a bit! I never expected the emotional and psychological toll adoption would take on me. I expected the physically exhausted part but the feeling of being completely drained was a new one on me. Even being up 6 times a night with a new baby doesn't compare.
I also never expected not to love the child we adopted. Everyone tells you about how hard it might be for your child to attach to you but there is not much out there about parents having a hard time attaching to their kids. Love isn't always instant, but that is ok! It does grow :)
In retrospect I think me trying to keep our routine the same for the boys was so important to me that I exhausted myself. If I'd had the time to just hang out with Mariah and the boys and just "be" instead of cleaning, cooking, and catching up on everything that didn't get done while we were gone, I think the adjustment would have been easier.
I felt like I was compltely isolated from the rest of the world for a while to be honest. I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I didn't expect to be having and not having the ones I thought I should. I thought maybe I was going a little crazy.
Trying to be supermom after spending a month away from your kids and bringing another child home is probably not the recommended way to handle things LOL!
But like they say, time marches on and the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months and things started feeling normal again.
Mariah learned English and gave us some insight into what was going on in her little head. We got to know her better and she figured out that we weren't taking her back.
Home is forever.
She has improved so much in the past six months!
She really has become a part of our family now and I think we ALL feel that way. I didn't expect it to take so long because I wanted it to be an "instant" fit, but that really wasn't fair to expect of any of us.
So here we are! Six months home today! I can honestly say that I'd do it all over again for her. Even knowing how hard it would be and not having stars in my eyes about mushy feelings and instant bonding, I'd still do it all over again.
Happy Six Months Home little girl! God has some big plans for your life that I can't wait to watch unfold and I'm greatful and humbled every day that God asked me to be your mama.