Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Sunday, January 8, 2012


So I had someone suggest that instead of just taking things away when Mariah pees on them (blankets, pajamas, sheets, etc.)  I could try a reward system for when she does not.

We actually decided to try this with all of our kids so we gave all 3 of the kids 5 coins at bedtime and explained to the boys (who won't be quiet at bedtime) that if we had to come back upstairs and tell them to get back in their beds, go to sleep, stop throwing stuff, etc. that they'd lose 2 coins each time.  I wanted them to get the idea and give them a chance to behave.

We told Mariah that if she peed in her bed, she'd have to pay us the 5 coins to wash her dirty things.

We told all 3 kids that if they were good listeners and followed the rules, and didn't have to lose any coins, then they'd each get 5 more coins in the morning and that these coins can be spent on special treats.  Pieces of candy, gum, or chips.

Night 1.  Wyatt lost 2 coins.  Cried & went right to sleep.
Wes lost 0.  Went right to sleep.
Mariah went right to sleep, got up and peed in the night and was super excited in the morning to get 5 more coins and purchase 10 chips.

Naptime they also get a chance to keep their coins.  I give them 5 more coins and its the same deal.  You keep them, or you can lose them. 

Naptime, they all went right to sleep.  No issues!  Wow!  Remarkable!  No running up and down the stairs 500 times to tell naughty children to go to sleep.  No pee in the morning!  Awesome!

I took Mariah to get a haircut, to the "Big Girl" Coffee Shop for a treat, and let her spend her Christmas money on a new toy.  I made a big deal out of how happy I was to spend time with her since she didn't have to sit in timeout on the potty practicing how to use it.  We spent the entire morning out together and my hope was that making sure she got lots of positive attention would negate her seeking negative attention IF that's why she was peeing...

Naptime #2.  Great.  All kids went right to sleep & Mariah got up afterwards and peed in the potty. 

Night 2:  Wes & Wyatt went RIGHT to sleep.
Mariah went right to sleep after earning a pajama shirt back to sleep in for no pee the night before and she looked right at me and said,  "I won't pee in it."  She had this look on her face... I wondered if she was lying but I said, "Great!"   We'd even made a big deal out of picking out a new shirt she hasn't worn yet and laying it next to her bed so she could wear in the morning.

Then she got up in the night at some point, peed under the bed in the floor and got back in her bed.  In the morning when we checked on her, she was laying in her bed and said, "I peed on myself."  No attempt to get up.  No attempt to go potty.  So we took her 5 coins and  made her clean it all. 

Then, we noticed the HUGE puddle under the bed after she cleaned up the 1st time.  We asked her how it got there.  "I peed in the floor. I didn't go to the potty." 

Oh my goodness.  This is SO frustrating. 

We had planned on going to my grandmother's in the morning and she knew it.  I think she thought we wouldn't punish her at someone else's house.  Wrong.  She got to sit on my grandma's toilet for nearly the whole visit so she could continue her practice.  She seemed pretty shocked at this.  I explained that everyone has a toilet and she made the choice to sit on one.  I feel like even once she knows what the punishment is, any change to the circumstances and she decides to test it to see if 1) we mean it  and 2) will we enforce it when its inconvenient?

I am personally hoping that she'll get tired of cleaning up a mess she's making for herself.  Surely its more fun to earn treats than sit on a toilet and practice where to pee.   


Winnie said...

Sounds likes she's testing you and it will likely get worse before it gets better. Keep to your system. She likes the idea.

I'm no expert but sounds like she's power playing you. It's the one thing she can do you have NO control over and she's testing you to see if your consistent in the rules and possibly there is some attachment stuff happening as well.

The key is NOT to lose your cool and follow through on whatever you promised. She'll get it.

Hang in there and buy a bottle or six of wine!

Amy said...

Peeing under the bed...we don't have peeing issues with Vera, but if we did, I can SO see her doing exactly the same thing. And I would do exactly what you did at your grandmother's house. She thought she'd get away with it and you didn't let her. Good job!! You inspire me to keep going.

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson