Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

You wanna tell them they're supposed to be dysfunctional?

Someone very recently told me that bringing kids into the home out of birth order almost always results in creating emotional chaos within a family.

I went outside to mention it to them, but they were too busy eating popsies they'd swiped out of the freezer and swinging on the hammock together to answer me.

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Suzee said...

It isn't so much that adopting kids out of birth order or multiple kids simultaneously **always** results in emotional chaos - it is simply that the **odds** of ending up with emotional chaos (or a disruption) increase significantly.

Is it really do horrible to want each and every adopted child to have the very best possible chance of bonding with and settling into their new forever family??

Mama of 3 said...

I've yet to see any actual statistic proving that adopting out of birth order increases the odds of ANYTHING so please feel free to post the link here for me, but obviously we're defying the "odds" and I don't appreciate Monday morning advice on our family choices.

I had plenty of dysfunction and emotional chaos growing up in a home where we were all born in perfect order to our biological parents and no one was adopted.

Jen said...

We have adopted twice. The first a sib set, that sandwichd my first born. The second adoption was three children again sandwiched. No disruption here.

In my inner circle ...

I have friends that have also adopted out of birth order and adopted a sib group of two and went on to adopt anther sib group of three.

Another close friend adopted two at once, then again two moore at once.

Another friend brought three children home at the same time.

In my circle that is 18 adopted children .. all in intact families ... all adopted out of birth order or a multiple adoption.

Adopting out of birth order = higher disruption IS A LIE THAT SATAN LOVES TO SPREAD!!!!!!!!!!!

These untrue statements hurt adoptions more than adopting out of birth order or adopting more than one child at once could.

Suzee - you should make your profile available - I'd like you to share your statistical data with me.

Stephanie @ Ralphcrew said...

Birth order, schmirth order. You are doing fantastic!

Mel said...

We had no qualms about birth order when we adopted Timothy. He is 6 months older than our youngest bio child. She will be in first grade in the fall, he will be in KG. He is about the size of a 4 y/o, she is a typically developing almost 6 y/o. His age is totally a number. He will catch up, and if he doesn't, who cares? He is loved, he is cherished, and no one in this family cares that he "interrupted" the birth order. So, to those skeptics, I say "HA!" ;o) We are the ones who are blessed, and if people are afraid to adopt out of birth order because of statistics, they are the ones missing out! :)

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson