Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Monday, December 17, 2012

Now What?

I remember when I was a teenager, a couple my grandmother knew came home to find their girls backpacks in their house, proof they'd arrived home from school, but no girls.  A few days later they were found murdered.  No one ever knew why.  It was a senseless act of evil.  A few years later, I remember hearing how that same couple was adopting 2 teen girls from Romania.  It struck me then even as a teenager how beautiful it was that they could take their heartbreak and offer what they had to those who did not.  Parents who had lost their children took in children who had lost their parents and together they were again able to be a family.  Healing born from tragedy.

Sometimes we ask God, "Why?"  Why did that happen?

If heaven is such a wonderful place, why are we so sad when people go?
Is it the way in which they go?

I have cried many tears over what happened in Newtown.  My children are the ages of those killed.  I canNOT imagine the pain.  I am literally sick over it.  I have not been able to go to sleep at night, thinking about the parents and the children.  The posts on facebook of poems about the children entering heaven are breaking my heart.  I won't even allow my children to know about this tragedy.  Their innocent little minds do not need to wonder if that could happen to them as well.      

I have heard it said that those who have endured the most pain are capable of the most compassion because they can empathize with others who are hurting on a much deeper level.  I heard this statement made during a sermon on the radio when I was at a very low place in my life.  The pastor said that he did not tell this to people when they were in the middle of experiencing their grief, but later, when they started asking "Why?" and "What do I do now?"  It resonated with me.  There was a PURPOSE to what I had walked through.  It wasn't just senseless pain.  I could USE what I had gone through to help others.

I have to believe that though God absolutely did not cause that evil man to do what he did, God can use the people affected by this tragedy.  Their pain does not have to be in vain.  When they start asking "Now what?" there will be healing.  I pray for their hearts to experience that very soon.  God is called Jehovah-Rapha which means "The Lord our Healer."  

I pray that healing comes to those in Newtown.  I pray that those who are hurting are able to turn it to empathy and find what they are to do next because surely they will be capable of more than most.  

"There once was a King who so burdened with grief
Walked into death so that we could find peace
He rose up with scars on his hands and his feet
By them we are healed, by them we are healed.

So praise God we don't have to hide scars
Yeah we know His are covering ours
Praise God we don't have to hide scars
They just strengthen our wounds and they soften our hearts
They remind us of who we have been, but not who we are
So Praise God we don't have to hide scars."     
- Jonny Diaz

Psalm 34:18
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

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We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson