Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Friday, January 25, 2013

Got Doubt?

I belong to a few Ukrainian adoption groups on Facebook.  A few days before we made our final decision to adopt our boys we were really struggling with how impossible it all seems, but we were really struggling with what NOT adopting them would mean.

I mean in 4-6 years the oldest will be turned out into the street.  Two years later his younger brother would also graduate the orphanage and be on the streets certain to turn to a life of crime because no one hires orphans.  These sweet boys have much to work through now, but they are still innocent children.  In a few more years, they will lose that innocence.  How could we let that happen?  What price tag can you stick on the life of a child that makes them not worth it?

We truly believe that God didn't allow us to host our boy last summer by accident.  Too many things happened.  He was the FOURTH child we chose for hosting.  He was the one we "ended up" with when all of our other plans fell through.  We certainly did not seek out a sibling group of four boys.  My goodness that was NOT in our plans!

But God...

And once again I am reminded that its not about us.  It was never about us.  It is about THEM.

God promises he is a father to the fatherless.
He sets the lonely in families.
He will not leave them as orphans.  He WILL COME to them.

Finances are a human obstacle and we serve an almighty God.  Who are we to doubt He will provide for what He has asked us to do?

So, knowing all of these things, we still wrestled with just how crazy it seemed.  I opened by laptop to turn my brain off (haha) and saw a notification on fb that someone had posted in the Ukrainian adoption group.  I went to see what it was because its rarely posted in at all.

This was the post.

When we started this adoption process, we knew it was an unmistakable call to obedience. It was sparked by our strong belief that life is sacred and that adoption was choosing life for a child. In June that child was brought to us. Not as an infant, but as 15 and 16 year old Ukrainian girls.

With the decision to adopt our girls, we knew we were taking on a huge task. A race against time because of their age, bringing two teenage girls into our home, and raising the needed $25,000. As we began to share our story and need with others, we heard many people say that they would like to adopt but just couldn’t afford it. We would smile and say, neither can we!

At times I would get overwhelmed with the task of raising the $ and I remember sitting in church, stressed and close to tears going over how much money we had and how much we needed. I remember thinking what it would be like to sit in front of a rich man, telling him our story and all that we were doing to raise the $ with the scarves, events, and quilt. He listened and then told me to continue on with the same zest and commitment and that whatever I didn’t raise, he would take care of the rest. Wow. I felt the weight of it all leave my shoulders and a huge wave of calm come over me. I sat with my eyes closed just thinking of what that would be like and I heard God tell me, “I am that Man. I own it all.” Of course instant tears and I knew that if I was going to say we were trusting God for every penny, it meant giving up the worry, and really trusting him to provide.

Two weeks ago we found ourselves $6,000 short of our goal. I remember thinking, I don’t know if I can sell $6000 more scarves I was out of ideas and unsure what to do next. Yesterday I got a an unexpected settlement check for $5,900 from a very minor car wreck that the kids and I were in back in October 2011! He does own it all! God’s faithfulness is always going to be on the side of his children. Whether it is a single mom wondering how she will provide and if she will choose life for her unborn child or 2 orphan teenagers from Ukraine, he is the Father of the fatherless. His heart cries out for them, and that we get to be an instrument of His provision is humbling to say the least.
Thank you for partnering with Him financially as many of you have given so generously. As we start this new year, I just want to encourage you to step out and do big things because He is bigger than our worries and He will provide. May our story be a testimony to His faithfulness.

I literally cried my way through it and then saved the entire thing to my desktop because its one of those things I will need to read again when doubt and fear start to creep back in.  I so get what she's saying.  How many times have I sat in church and counted heads, then done the math, imagining in my head that if just 80 people gave $500 we'd be totally funded?  How many times have I sang "Nothing is Impossible" while nearly crying?

This post reminded me that God is still in the miracle working business, but its not OUR miracle; its theirs because He is the father to the fatherless and He will provide.

1 comment:

Rachael Andrews said...

I needed to read that today. Thank you for posting it.

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson