Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Thursday, May 16, 2013

The (Unexpected) Joys of Adoption: Family

I think that maybe the best way to send a mass email to everyone on your contact list, yet guarantee that no one will email you back is to announce that you are adopting, and ask for donations.

Have you ever been there?

When we were adopting for the first time, it was suggested to us that the best way to fundraise was to explain to your friends and family what you were doing and ask them to help you out.  They even suggested making a list of the top 10 people who were likely to empathize with you.
I'm won't mince words here. That suggestion sucks.

Why does it suck?  Well, because it made us think of those who mean the most to us.  You know, "Oh YES lets send that to them!"  Surely they will want to help! It put a huge expectation of them in our mind.  When that expectation didn't come to pass, we felt disappointed and hurt.

What we found though, was that God can speak to people without a nicely made flyer politely begging for donations.  God can quietly whisper to someone's heart that you have a need and they can help fill it.  And guess what??  Its not usually from those people that you were expecting it from.

To be perfectly honest, we have received the most support from those we least expected in our family.  Those people we don't get together with much or haven't seen in years were the ones who surprised us; and the surprise of it all was half of the blessing.

We have had extended family reach out to us and express how happy they are for us and how much they want to help.  They have cheered for us on social media and donated items to our fundraisers.  Some have simply very quietly sent us a donation.

What we have had to force ourselves to realize is that we should not be placing our expectations in people.  We should be placing our hope in God.

What a blessing it has been to have God use some members of our extended family to reach out to us when we least expected it.  A few relationships have perhaps even been restored a bit by it.

Yes, it is hard when those we love and interact with the most are not the most supportive, but it is important to remember that our hope should not be in them.  Our hope is in the Lord and He does not tend to work things out according to our plans.  So, when I say that one of the joys of adoption can be family, I mean it in a very non-convential sense of the word :)

Don't miss out on the surprises God may have for you because you are too busy pouting over how "They just don't get it."  The truth is that they may never get it, but there are plenty of others who may see what you are doing and be completely transformed by the realization that God can use ordinary people to do extraordinary things.



The Bell Family said...

Amen Erin. Love this post and your heart.


Lorri n Chad said...

Amen Erin. I'm there to help in your next fundraiser as well..love yall

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson