Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Monday, October 21, 2013

The Rules

Before we have court, these are the rules we are going to go over with our boys.  They aren't meant to intimidate at all, but rather to provide an easier transition once home.  Orphanages breed an environment of survival of the fittest.  I've watched a child have a turn playing a game on a cell phone then stand there and bawl.his.eyes.out. the entire time another child got a turn because all he understood was that it was taken away.  

There is no sense of fairness or kindness in an orphanage.  My youngest boy will shove other children away yelling, "That's MY mama! Not yours!"  "My mama brought that for ME."  Its every man for himself.  He finally got a mama and he is going to make sure I stay HIS.  

These rules seek to provide security and a sense of fairness with their boundaries.  If *I* am not allowed to hurt others, then it will eventually sink in that *others are not allowed to hurt me.*  If *I* have to share and take turns then I will eventually understand that others will also have to share and take turns with me.  If *I* am not allowed to jerk toys away from someone just because I want them, it stands to reason that no one will be allowed to jerk toys away from me either.  

Once the boundaries are understood, peaceful calm will prevail!!  (haha ok - I can dream!)
I thought you might like to see what we came up with.  They are a revised list of "The 21 Rules of This House."

The Rules of Our House
  1. We obey God
  2. We love, honor, and pray for each other
  3. We tell the truth. Always.
  4. We consider one another’s interest ahead of our own
  5. We wear seat belts in cars.
  6. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another
  7. We stay with our parents when we go places.
  8. We do not hurt each other with mean words or actions.
  9. We wash our hands before eating.
  10. We have screen time after our house is clean & homework is done.
  11. When someone needs correction, we correct them in love.
  12. When someone has a problem, we pray about it with them.
  13. When someone is sorry, we forgive him,
  14. When someone is sad, we comfort him.
  15. When someone is happy, we are happy with him.
  16. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
  17. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
  18. We take good care of everything God has given us.
  19. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
  20. When we open something, we close it.
  21. When we take something out, we put it away.
  22. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
  23. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
  24. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
  25. We spend money wisely.
  26. When we go out, we act like we do in our house. 

In our house we are real.  We make mistakes. We say “I’m sorry.”  We give second chances. We have fun.  We laugh.  We forgive.  We give hugs.  We make memories.  We love God and we pray REALLY hard.  We are patient, but above all else; we love. 

1 comment:

Lora said...


We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson