Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Friday, December 6, 2013

Three Weeks

We've been home three weeks now.  Typing that seems like such a short time.
The boys have been to an IA Clinic at a Children's Hospital.
We've done chest x-rays, blood work, gotten referrals for pediatric dentist, orthodontist, ophthalmologist, ENT, audiologist, and are trying to figure out speech therapy.
We've gotten prescriptions for parasites and fingernail fungus.  
We found out our little guy is actually 75% for his age LOL!
We have appointments for more fillings in the teeth, and are getting ELL services set up at school.
We've crammed a lot into three weeks.  

Yet the biggest change has been in my boys.
"Mam me pakopayet ranook ee yist schola ok?"
translation = "Mom, I figured out how to buy breakfast at school every morning this week.
(they use words they know I understand lol)
And to think I was WORRIED how they would EVER figure out how to buy lunch if they needed to.

Our adjustment has been exhausting.  We are dealing with survival of the fittest type orphanage behaviors mostly.  There is not a lot of kindness or consideration for others shown in an orphanage so we are working on that here.  Everything has to be "fair" or pouting ensues.  They all tried to sit in the front seat of my van one day after school.  4 boys in one seat all on top each other and all yelling at me about the other 3.  It was ridiculous... we drive down our driveway to the house and yet its some sort of thing to smack each other over and cry if you have to sit in *gasp* the backseat with the other children.  

I know where the behavior comes from of course.  A lifetime of nothing EVER being fair.  Its take or be taken from.  Here though, we don't do that.  I've told them over and over and over again, "Our family is KIND.  We LOVE."  E summed it up one day in Ukraine when I scolded him for hitting someone and we told him that at our house, we don't hit.  
He said, "In America I won't hit.  Here, I hit.  They hit me."

We've also had to deal with swearing in Ukrainian.  They thought I didn't know what the words meant.
Well, I understand the language better than they thought and I can type Cyrillic into Google translate what I don't know.  The look on the boys' faces when I jumped all up in their mess for calling each other a B@)#h was priceless. (for real though boys!?)  The other fun one is @$$hole.  Its such a long drawn out word in Ukrainian.  The American version is easier to say, and I hope they never learn it.  I however now have a list of Russian swearwords printed out on my fridge that I refer to.  
Its a great way to add to your vocab.  

They also call each other "You cow!" or "You pig!" all the time. Now those I really just laugh at because really.  One boy said, "Oh I didn't say HE was a cow, I said that I was a cow.  I LOVE cows."  Oh?  Well cows sleep outside kiddo.  If you want the full experience and all since you love cows so.very.much. 

Denis has probably been the one who has just transformed.  He has gone from a distant, withdrawn, shell of a little boy who didn't even try to communicate with us and spent weeks zipped up to his nose in the same jacket to a funny, happy, boy who is always saying "Oh mammy ohn mah... what is dis Enlesko-oo?"  He is trying so hard to learn English and went from dreading school to loving it.  

Overall we are doing well.  The boys are happy to be here and they will eventually learn what it means to be loved unconditionally.  They take correction pretty well for the most part, and they do try to be good, but it breaks my heart that they seem to think being punished for breaking a rule means we don't love them.  
V asks me almost every night, "Mom was I a good boy?  You love me?  No more Ukraine?"

I love them so much.  It breaks my heart that they just don't quite get what forever is yet.

Forever means you will never be alone again.

1 comment:

SammE said...

I've been wondering how you are all doing since the boys arrived home! The Thanksgiving post upset me hugely. That was a horrid experience. But you're home and settling and learning together. I love to read about your family and I admire your strength in waiting for travelling to and bringing home the three. I am envious too! I'd love to adopt. :) samm

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson