Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Warfare

Our pastor preached a great sermon today at church about spiritual warfare.  Its important to label it for what it is.  We had always heard about it, but never experienced it in such a real way until we started our adoption journeys.  

There have been times during our adoption process that I could feel that there was so much more going on behind the scenes than what met the eye.  Its gotten so bad that when yet another thing broke or we were faced with yet another unexpected disappointment we would joke that something good must be getting ready to happen so Satan was preemptively blasting away.

There were times we could almost hear hell mocking us.  "You think you can do this??"  Its a joke in the adoption community that everything in your house will break as soon as you sign the papers to start the process.  I can attest to that from the washing machine and dishwasher breaking to my broom snapping in half.

Why?

Because finances are a HUGE hurdle and the thing that most adoptive families worry about the most, and the first thing to get attacked are things that cost even more money.  I've stood gritting my teeth in dismay at how we could possibly make something work out and announce out loud that we weren't quitting.  Phillip & I are hardheaded like that.  Tell us we can't do something, make us angry; you just got assurance it.will.be.done.

We called the battle confirmation for a long time.  We had it labeled.  We thought we were done... and then we came home with 3 more kids and were met with "shock and awe" that has left us so very weary.

I even said, "I thought this would be over once we came home!"  NO.  Its been 10 times worse.  We've been hit with a concentrated rapid fire stream of fiery darts at all the things that hurt the most.  Maybe it was our assumption that things would calm down once we were "done" that caught us so off-guard.  We expect crazy comments, wacky insurance screw-ups, medical scares, and appliance breakdowns during the process.  Now that we've come home though we've really been in the thick of it.

We are at a bit of a crossroads in our life right now.  We still desperately need to sell our house.  There are some things up in the air with our job situation.  School has been crazy with 3 of the 5 enrolled kids needing child studies, one unexpected and I've yet to have the meeting for it.  I've felt overwhelmed and inadequate, but the truth is we are only 7 weeks home and have accomplished a lot.  M has some medical things that we are trying to make decisions about.  She may need surgery and the stress of trying to do what's best for her is always pressing on me.  She so much wants to be able to do what other kids do and she just physically cannot get her body to do it.  I see the stares she gets just walking at Wal-Mart and it breaks my heart for the day she'll see them too.  E and V need to see an ENT and both probably need surgery for the same thing, but I've yet to schedule the appointment because we've been busy trying to get the cavities filled, blood drawn, and other more pressing things done (like Thanksgiving & Christmas lol!)  I'm fighting the battle of trying to keep up with cooking, cleaning, and giving attention to all of the kids when they need it.  My fear is that someone will feel left out and I want so badly to do the right thing by each child and give them what they need.  This adjustment period is overwhelming for a mom!  I'm looking forward to having everyone all up to date on everything and being able to relax a bit without feeling like I should be up doing something!   

Today was a great reminder that we are equipped to do this battle and we don't need to hide under the covers.  We have been given armor AND weapons.  We can not only "do this" but we can "win this."




No comments:



We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson

 

ALL CONTENT IS COPYRIGHT AND MAY NOT BE COPIED OR REPRODUCED WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE AUTHOR. COPYRIGHT 2017