Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Friday, March 14, 2014


I've had several people email me asking why I blocked them on Facebook.  I didn't.  I deactivated my account.  I'm having a very difficult time with my kids' school doing what they are supposed to do for my new boys, M's project (Past, Present, Future) sent her into a tailspin which sent ME into a tailspin because it just breaks my heart.  I have NOTHING good to say about our Social Security issues.  I want to shout from the rooftop what a disgrace it is!

I have really not much good to say about my kids' school at all.  On top of the things they are supposed to be doing that they are NOT, they sent home yet another huge fundraiser that requires kids to sell certain numbers of items to earn prizes.  I have FIVE kids at the same school.  One has cerebral palsy and 3 don't speak English.  I cannot sell 100s of items so each kid gets the same level of prizes.  I mean... a bounce house and a game truck, really!?  You are going to tell my kids no because they didn't sell enough items??    There is time to organize that, yet not time to get my kid a translator (THAT I SET UP) or start speech services?  Yet now he's missing out on prizes?  Really??  I was up in the office yesterday because I am SO.VERY.DONE.

I am so frustrated at so many things right now that its really better if I am not on Facebook because it tends to be my only outlet of people (other than my husband) who care.  Oversharing your private life's struggles on social media isn't always a good decision though because many don't understand what I'm so upset about, so I deactivated until we get some things taken care of.

What I am SUPPOSED to be doing is setting up insurance approval and travel accommodations for M's out of state surgery next month.  I'm also supposed to be doing homeschool with Wy.  Then of course I am mom to 6.  There is laundry, shopping, cleaning, and the never ending slew of the hundreds of papers that come home from school with all those kiddos each week.  That's what I'm supposed to be doing.  That's my job.  The other stuff was someone else's job that they didn't do or think through.

That's just the tip of the iceberg.

So, its just me trying not to rant about all of our issues.  I just need some time to get them taken care of without letting the whole world know.


MusicGirl23 said...

The fundraising requirements have gotten so ridiculous! We usually had one, maybe two a year, and it was a tiny tiny thing-usually chocolate. And it wasn't required until about grade four or five, at which point kids are old enough to help a bit. Now I see it happening with kindergarten kids...not good. It is one thing in high school for trips, but not good when it will be the parents that have to do everything.

Emily said...

Praying for you, sweet friend. There's SO much on your plate, not to mention all the continued adjustments and transitions of bringing home THREE new kids with language barriers. As hard as it is and as frustrated as you are, you're doing such a great job.
I have one request while you're absent from Facebook...please make sure to post here on your blog the cute things the boys say with their attempts at English. I love reading those. They always make me smile. I share them with my hubby, who spent several months helping renovate an orphanage in Russia. He gets the biggest kick out of the stuff your boys say. =)

Kevin and Krista said...

Oh good. I am sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and I do very much understand that. I was concerned about you though because I just went to send you a message and you were gone.

Sophie has a genetics project (Lily already had one this year) and I was going to commiserate with you.

Leah Kohler said...

Erin, while I will miss your posts on the FB (they made me smile, cry, understand the reason we stepped into this journey of adoption, and see a great example what a real mom should be), I do understand why you made the decision to suspend your account. what you're going through right now is totally overwhelming!
I'm praying for you and your sweeties.

If it's ok with you, please keep this blog updated (at least some times :))
we, adoptive parents, future adoptive parent, your friends, really appreciate it.
God bless you sister! you're the best!

Blessed said...

I have been reading your stories with interest, but I think I have been a lurker so far. I just wanted to say I am very sorry you are dealing with this, and completely understand your frustration and anger. And even hurt! They seem to care much more about $ than they do about your kids. : (

May God give you peace and perspective and whatever you need this day!

just me said...

I'm so happy to know where you went! I was worried about you. Ranting gets it off your chest and can help clear the mind.
It sorta sounds like the school doesn't care enough to want to help. As far as the fundraisers go, maybe tell the kids it's just much BUT they will still get something special from you! It doesn't have to be big, at their age small is great too.

Kara Minor said...

I'm a teacher and I just wanted to tell you that there are some really great teachers who will fight for your kids.

We are required to do those darn fundraisers and we hate them too...at our school none of us make a deal out of any prizes...stick them in cubbies and be done with it.

But back to fighting for your kids. To be honest, the school systems are tied up in dramatic bs bureaucracy that drives teachers to quit all the time. We chose this low-paying profession because we love kids and get stuck sometimes.

My advice to you--don't quit, ever. I'm pretty sure we live near-ish each other based on some things you've discussed which means I probably have some experience with the school system you're fighting. The one thing I can guarantee you is that school's are afraid of parents. That often sucks for teachers because it means we change grades for spoiled kids and that pisses us off. BUT it also occasionally is a win because it means we see a parent fighting for what they're kid needs.

The county I'm in just had a multi-million dollar lawsuit because we were not adhering to IEP for ESOL students. The schools systems in the states know this. AND they know they have to follow IEPs.

You are legally required to have one and that is legally required to be followed...fight for it. And if it gets bad enough call the media because the school systems know that they are required to provide fair education and FAIR in a teacher's definition isn't giving each kids equal time it's giving each kid what he or she needs.

Last, give the homeroom teachers some love. My guess is they feel like their backs are up against a wall. My school is integration and each grade level teacher gets one of the exceptionalities. I rotate years between ESOL and special needs (other teachers take gifted (seriously, that's ones just not fun.), speech, allergies).

The worst part about this is how often you as a homeroom teacher have no choice, often because someone hire up than you made a call. BUT what you can do is close the door and when no one's in the room..do something about it.

You're story inspired me a year ago. I anonymously donated to the fund when at the time I'd just moved back to the US and was broke because I felt like your boys deserved love. You love them...go for it. and get other people on board who feel the same. I guarantee you their are teachers at the school that feel the same.

If you want to contact me or ask more questions I'd be pleased to help.

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson