I'm finding myself in a weird place. I have so much that I want to say, but I can't write anything. This time last year we were in Ukraine. I'm experiencing a fierce nostalgia, remembering all we did a year ago. The weather here matches what it was in Ukraine. The leaves are turning. My emotions are high, I find myself tearing up just thinking about it all. The plans I had. How much I missed my kids at home. I remember how difficult it was to be at the orphanage surrounded by children who had nothing and wanted only a family. It absolutely broke my heart to see their eyes and hear their voices asking for a family.
My boys have come so far in a year. I look at them now and look at pictures of a year ago and I see such a change. I think back over what we've done since coming home and it makes me tired! Wow... what a year we've had. There is still so much going on. Having 5 kids in school, ALL of them with varying levels of needs and therapies really makes life interesting IF everything goes smoothly. The struggles with school... we're still having some. I relish the day when we don't. I realize that we are not the typical family. No matter what we do, we are not the norm. I remember the time when I used to never want to stand out or be noticed. I was happy to be a wallflower and never wanted to ever rock the boat. Yah God has gotten a good laugh out of that one. I stand out and get noticed now, and that boat I didn't want to rock... well I have flipped the freaking thing over and beaten it with a paddle.
This time of year is making me sit back and wonder what our next year will be like. What are my goals? What do I want to accomplish? I know that we will probably host again. If we don't do that we will be involved in orphan care in some other way. Educating and advocating is something that I could do.
Its hard to tell what another year will bring.