Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Saturday, October 11, 2014


I'm finding myself in a weird place.  I have so much that I want to say, but I can't write anything.  This time last year we were in Ukraine.  I'm experiencing a fierce nostalgia, remembering all we did a year ago.  The weather here matches what it was in Ukraine.  The leaves are turning.  My emotions are high, I find myself tearing up just thinking about it all.  The plans I had.  How much I missed my kids at home.  I remember how difficult it was to be at the orphanage surrounded by children who had nothing and wanted only a family.  It absolutely broke my heart to see their eyes and hear their voices asking for a family.

My boys have come so far in a year.  I look at them now and look at pictures of a year ago and I see such a change.  I think back over what we've done since coming home and it makes me tired!  Wow... what a year we've had.  There is still so much going on.  Having 5 kids in school, ALL of them with varying levels of needs and therapies really makes life interesting IF everything goes smoothly.  The struggles with school... we're still having some.  I relish the day when we don't.  I realize that we are not the typical family.  No matter what we do, we are not the norm.  I remember the time when I used to never want to stand out or be noticed.  I was happy to be a wallflower and never wanted to ever rock the boat.  Yah God has gotten a good laugh out of that one.  I stand out and get noticed now, and that boat I didn't want to rock... well I have flipped the freaking thing over and beaten it with a paddle.  

This time of year is making me sit back and wonder what our next year will be like.  What are my goals?  What do I want to accomplish?  I know that we will probably host again.  If we don't do that we will be involved in orphan care in some other way.  Educating and advocating is something that I could do.  

Its hard to tell what another year will bring.

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We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson