Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Sometimes I wonder why it has to be so hard

I'm sorry I haven't updated my blog more.  The truth is that we have been going through a lot of hard things…

We moved so the kids could attend a better school after the nightmare we had last year.  Parts of that are still unfolding.  I didn't even realize the complete extent of neglect my kids experienced last year until I have requested to see things that were supposed to be done only to find out that they weren't!  Never mind what I requested to be done that I KNEW wasn't done.  These are things they agreed to and didn't do!  The Department of Education is involved and we have recently acquired an advocate.  The stress of this situation alone has been at times so much that I have been physically ill.

Because of last year, getting things set up this year at their new school has been probably more challenging than it should have been.  However, we are glad we moved because the kids new school definitely has been much better to work with and the kids have been happier!  I have tried to relax, but I still can't sleep well the night before and have a mini anxiety attack the day of every meeting.  That any parent could ever be made to feel this way by the system they pay taxes to is unacceptable.

We listed our other house for sale within days of moving out.  We have scrubbed it and painted it in our "free" time.  We must sell it!

During the summer we actually were planning to move into a house that we'd put a contact on, but it turned out that the listing info was incorrect.  It was in the wrong school district and had an unusable septic.  After losing nearly $1K we walked away totally frustrated, and with our kids transferred to the district the house was listed in (but not physically in).  Talk about a mess.

I searched online in the school district the kids school was in and found a house that I wanted to look at..  I felt like I was in a pressure cooker with the kids being moved to a different district that we didn't live in, and the fact that we had kids packed into their bedrooms like sardines in a can.  Dressers were in the hallway, shoes were hanging off the backs of doors, and there was absolutely no personal space for anyone with 6 children sharing a tiny bathroom.  I know people make do with less, but with 5 boys and 1 girl we knew that the kids were going to really need more privacy.

Anyways, we went to look at this house I found with a different realtor.  We weren't thrilled with how we'd been represented on the other house so we didn't want to go that route again.  I mean who loves to lose money based on bad info, right?

Long story short, we loved the house and put a contract on it that day.  Then we moved into it right after closing.

Finally I thought.  FINALLY.  I worked pretty much without stopping from the time I put the kids on the bus to the time they came and then after I put them to bed.  I unpacked it all.  I organized it.  I wanted us to finally have a home we fit into after almost a year of having to stack dressers on top of themselves just to make it all fit.

We had our blissful thoughts for about a month.  Then we got a call from our previous realtor demanding commission on the house we just bought.  Apparently she put a buyer/broker agreement that lasted 9! months into our contract paperwork several months back on a house we made an offer on.  She never explained that there was anything in the paperwork other than the contract and she never gave us a copy of it.  It was all sent electronically so we had absolutely no idea about this until the phone call.

So here we sit with this realtor demanding $7600 from us.  We have a post placement visit coming up with our social worker.  V's first birthday in America is in less than two weeks.  Our first Gotchya Day is just around the corner.  Christmas is coming… we have two mortgages until we sell our other house.   I literally couldn't breathe and was just sitting on the couch crying.
Who purposefully does things like this to families?  We have never tried to wrong anyone, and yet here we are on the wrong end of a pissed off realtor demanding what she says is, "MY PAYCHECK!"

I can't really describe how this feels.  This realtor knew our situation all along and we thought she was trying to help us.  After losing $1K we were wary of using her again.  Apparently trying to quietly walk away and not cause an issue was the wrong thing to do because here we are being made out to be the "bad guys."  I've never asked for a pat on the back and I don't like being told I'm "special" for adopting 4 children.  I'm just as normal and imperfect as the next girl.  But I don't like being accused of something we didn't do.  That's not who we are.  I'm just sick and so upset over it all for many different reasons.

Please pray that this is resolved.  God knows we don't have $7600 to give anyone right now because if we had that kind of money we'd be hosting another orphan for Christmas.


Montague said...

Yikes!! Please obtain a real estate attorney in your state immediately! The first agent did not disclose material information to you about the first house, which was her responsibility. She obviously also did not disclose that you were agreeing to an exclusive broker/agent contract, which should be a huge problem for her (I would think she could be sued for that not to mention fined or lose her license.) It is quite possible that simply having the backing of your attorney sending her the legal facts of her negligence could make this go away quickly. This is definitely worth the money to hire an attorney! (((Hugs)))

daniellem02 said...

That is so upsetting. I agree with the previous comment that an attorney may be in order However, maybe you should just wait? Short of taking you to court, which I doubt she would do (not out of benevolence, but that she must know on some level that she would lose), she is just trying to bully you into paying her. Don't do it. If you have to get a lawyer eventually, it will still be cheaper for you than paying this outrageous fee.

daniellem02 said...

You could also threaten to go to the paper or local tv station for one of those consumer advocacy stories. I think you would be completely justified. And she would not want her name involved with one of those--realtors rely so much on word of mouth recommendations. Good luck.

Kami said...

I'm generally a reader, not a commenter, but I had to jump in here. I am not a licensed attorney, but have some experience in these types of matters.

A real estate and/or contracts lawyer is needed here. The sooner the better. The agent was negligent on the first house, which breaches her ethical and legal duties to you as her (former) client. The 9 month broker agreement may or may not be enforceable. Either way, a strongly worded letter from a reputable attorney will probably settle the case.

It will cost you something to meet with an attorney. He may be amenable to you actually writing the letter and then putting it on his letterhead. That would save his time, thereby lowering your fees.

If you don't know an attorney, make sure to ask around and get the best one in town.

Praying for this to be resolved quickly!


morrigoon said...

Take the matter up with the agent's broker first. Explain how the agent's actions led to the loss of $1000 and that is the reason you did not go with them. Explain that you had no idea you entered into a 9-month agreement or you would have approached the broker to request being let out of that contract immediately after the deal that cost you money. Point out to the broker that releasing you from your obligations under that contract is a heck of a lot cheaper than litigating if you have to lawyer up.

If that doesn't work, you can talk to the local association/board of realtors (depending on your area they could use either title), and ask them about it.

But your best answer is to start with the broker. If your state works anything like California, they are *technically* who holds your contract, with the agent subordinate to them. Brokers don't like to waste time & money on stupid things or bad transactions, so you may get some relief there.

mamaporuski said...

So sorry you had to go through this. I know from the next post it's getting resolved, but yes, who does this? We have our own crazy lawsuit now but none that threatens our home (yet!). Hang in there. Some one was passing around from C.S. Lewis that when questioned on why Christians had to suffer in this life he said "Why not? They are the only ones who should be able to handle it".
Not very comforting really, but true we do not have to rely on our own strength!

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson