Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Finally Processing

I think everyone who follows my blog knows that we set out to adopt 4 boys.  Our 3 boys had a baby brother, and it was our intention to adopt them all.  What we found when we arrived in Ukraine was that he had been separated from his brothers and adopted alone, just before we got there.

V was crying in his bed tonight because he wants to see his brother.  D was saying, "Its just not cool dey take my brother."

I don't have words to make this better.  This is the worst kind of pain.  I can't fix it.  This kind of pain demands to be felt, and probably always will.  We talked about how maybe one day we can go back and try to find him…but V said, "But people's face change when dey get big."  I said, "Yeah but they have the same name."  NO.  He pointed out.  "You can change name."  He's right…

Why why why did anyone think separation was a good idea?  I have no comfort to offer.  I cried my tears in Ukraine when I had to leave without my baby, but my boys are just now processing it.
I have no comfort to offer.  For some things there really isn't anything you can do to ever make it better.  We all feel he should be here, but he's not.   

1 comment:

Milena said...

So heartbreaking! I always thought that they didn't separate siblings unless one has severe special needs :-(. You are so right in that sometimes there is no comfort to give. But you listen, and your boys will feel that their feelings are legitimate and that they are allowed to grieve.

I really wish that you will find a way to get in touch with their baby brother!



We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson

 

ALL CONTENT IS COPYRIGHT AND MAY NOT BE COPIED OR REPRODUCED WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE AUTHOR. COPYRIGHT 2017