Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Saturday, December 6, 2014

We Hope

Because we hired a PI to find our kids' extended family in Ukraine, we are able to call via Skype every so often.  We wanted this connection for many reasons.

It seems that perhaps there is someone who knows where my boys' baby brother is.  We only want the connection for our boys.  We are hopeful that perhaps we can find out more in the coming weeks.  D said "Where we live, everybody is friends with everybody.  Nuffin happen dey not knowing about."

Last night while V was once again crying, it all seemed so hopeless.  Adoptions in Ukraine are closed.  No info is given out after the fact.  But I reminded V that God sees his baby brother, and God sees him.  God has a plan even if we cannot see it and His plans are GOOD.  I was having a hard time believing the words myself as my son cried.  These boys have experienced so much pain.  He asked, "Why doesn't God just tell me where my brother is if He sees him?  I wanted him HERE with me!"  A ten year old should not be crying his eyes out just wishing he had pictures of his baby brother.  I am telling you there are no words for this, and yet it is my job as his mother to find words.

I have no answers.  But I know that God is sovereign and I have seen His goodness and love poured out too many times to question Him.  People making horrible choices created the pain that my boys experienced, not God.  V asked me if I would go get his brother if I could.  Yes.  Of course I would.  I reminded him that I brought a tiny little coat, and shoes, and clothes when we came last year.  I wanted him, and I am so so so sorry that he was gone.  I am so sorry.  Its not fair.  Its ok to cry and be sad because its not right; its not how things were supposed to be.

This is the very real loss that happens to make adoption necessary in the first place.  It is my heartfelt wish that my boys never had to experience any of this even if it meant they could not have been mine.  I love them so much that I wish there had been no need for me.

But… there is a glimmer of hope.  We wait.  We hope for news.


Carolina said...

I really hope you can get news and photos of the baby, so the boys can at least know he's all right.

Oh, and I loved the new photos, such beautiful and happy children, a real family. :)

SammE said...

How very sad for the boys and for you too. I do hope there can be a connection someday for the brothers to know each other, even if the littlest one is far away.

mamaporuski said...

We did a bio search with a PI (I hope you are using the same one!) Praying it is information you are wanting to hear as well.

Milena said...

I truly hope that you will be able to get some photos as keepsakes for your boys as well as the knowledge that the baby is fine. Of course I hope you will be able to stay in touch, but in case that is not possible at least some photos and some little info.
Wishing you a Christmas miracle of your own!

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson