Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Sunday, February 22, 2015

What a weekend

W was supposed to have his birthday party this Saturday.  We had ordered cupcakes to take to his class on Friday, but after it snowed Monday night, the kids were out of school for the.rest.of.the.week.  So poor W didn't get his class party.  For 6 inches.  Yep.  However it was fun because we all got to play in the snow, watch movies, play Minecraft, play Legos, bake cookies, and make crafts for a week.

Then we woke up to dumping snow from a "little storm" on 9am Saturday.  We had to cancel his party at home.  We ended up getting 6-8 inches from that "little storm" that was predicted to drop 1-2 inches.  We got so much snow that we had to cancel his party again for today (rescheduled thinking people could come) because it just was not safe.  So my poor W had his party all messed up but we're gonna try again next weekend.

In the middle of all of this I had a major health emergency.  The stress from dealing with school… it just all finally added up on top of something else I have going on.  It was really really not good.  Several frantic phone calls, some hysterical crying, some advice on what to do at home (because we were in the middle of a major snow storm), and one doctor visit with bloodwork later...

I am ok.  However, I won't be attending the meeting I have this week with the school.  The stress over the past year has created massive anxiety.  I can't even *think* about a meeting without nearly hyperventilating.  Even with a lawyer involved now, its just too much.  I can think just fine through stress.  Maybe it even gives me an edge because I am so worked up with so much adrenaline going.  Once I read something, I've got in my head forever, so pulling it out at a meeting isn't an issue for me.  I don't need the paperwork.  If I get angry, I think even better.  Most of the time at school in meetings, I am angry.  Its all the times that it didn't matter what I said and that the school chose to deny my kids what I knew they needed.  Its all those sleepless nights prepping for meetings, and getting so upset that I was crying at 1am while reading the laws.  I worry so much about my kids and I've worked so so hard to get them what they needed even when everyone told me "no."  I've ignored what its been doing to me, but I can't anymore.  My husband is taking off work to go instead of me this week, and after that who knows.  A person really can only take so much and my kids need their mom to be healthy more than anything else.

Besides can I just say that at 29, I am too freaking young to be dealing with these kinds of issues from stress!


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We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson