Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Goodbye 2015

I was happy to see it go honestly.  It holds a lot of things that I am happy to leave in the past.

I almost lost my baby.

I spent 7 weeks on bed rest.

I started off with 6 kids in public school and ended with them all at home with me.

I started the year with IEP meetings and ended it without them.

I turned 30.

I had an unmedicated labor and delivery at a birth center.  

I learned my mother is a narcissistic psychopath and realized that my childhood was shaped in ways even I didn't realize by that.

I spent a lot of time learning more about myself and finally don't feel so out of place.  I introvert like a boss.

I lost a LOT of sleep. First over IEPs and then worrying about my pregnancy.  The most sleep was lost staying up with one squalling little colicky baby though :)

I wrestled with my faith in ways I never imagined...again.  I am stuck still, not yet able to make sense of what I've been taught, what I have experienced.  

I realized that I would love to write a book about SO much, but will have to wait a few years because you know... Kids :)

2015 was insanely stressful.  It ended more peacefully though and I am grateful for that.

My kids have begged for a couple of years now to go to Lego Land.  I think that for 2016 our resolution is to find a way to take them.  I heard that homeschoolers can get in for an incredibly low price 1 day each week so maaaaybe we can make this happen.

We have been through so much as a family.  I'd love to have more photos of us having fun, making memories.  

For sure though, this was the best part of 2015. My sweet snuggly baby :)


Nicole said...

Gorgeous baby and one incredible young mother who has accomplished so much !
Best year 2016 ever ! :)

Blessed said...

I can't believe how you do so much and are so young! God is using you big time! : ) May this next year be full of blessings and may the journey God has you on be clear to you, and may you always be aware of His presence with you every step of the way.

I had not read previously about your narcissistic mother. My MIL also has that diagnosis, and just this past Fall I finally realized (through God leading me patiently and faithfully for many years now) that codependence is the root of the bondage I have been experiencing. A really wise and Godly counselor is helping me work through the baggage--amazing how wounded and enslaved I have become in the past 20 years married into this family! I am reading a book called "From Bondage to Bonding" and I recommend it. Maybe there are other, better books on the subject, but this one has been clear and really helpful in seeing the relationships around me for what they are. Praying that you have/get freedom from the damage a narcissistic parent can do.

With love and best wishes from Monterey Bay

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson