Hoping to someday find M's brother adopted in the U.S. -
Myckola Oleksandrovych Markov - 8/26/2003

Friday, March 1, 2019

Special Education & ESL Self Advocacy Videos for Parents

If you have followed my blog for any amount of time, you know that I have spent many years fighting the public school district to get adequate services for my children.

These videos are a compilation of the questions I am asked the most.

Friday, February 8, 2019

Back at Home

After court, I went back to the US to wait out the 30 days. When I arrived at Dulles, the weather was so bad that Phillip and the kids could not get to the airport due to downed trees. A friend who lives nearby picked me up instead and I waited a few hours for Phillip to make it to their house. I finally made it home around 24 hours after I left Kyiv.

I immediately noticed the cold EG had when I left had turned into something more. She was coughing and vomiting often. We took her to the dr the next morning where they said she was fine. A few days later she was even worse. She was up all night coughing till she would vomit, 10-20 times. Finally after going back several times and it turning into pneumonia she tested positive for whooping cough. Then we realized several other kids now had symptoms so everyone in the house had to take antibiotics for a week. W and Wy got really sick still, but not as sick as EG. She had to do nebulizer breathing treatments for weeks, steroids and antibiotics. The entire month I was home from Ukraine I was up all night with a coughing and puking sick child in my bed. It was absolute hell. 

In between all of this, I tore two ligaments in my thumb. I got a cast at the same hand surgeon my boys have seen, just three days before getting on a plane back to Ukraine.

Flying with the cast wasn’t bad except that halfway across the Atlantic I noticed my arm going numb and burning down my pinky.
It was annoying but not bad.
However all of the use with suitcases and trying to cut my food, open my purse, carry groceries, and generally function as an independent adult in a foreign country became more painful with each day. After a few days in Ukraine the tingling and burning hurt more than the original injury.  It actually felt like I had a raw wound inside the cast and at night it felt like I had pins and needles running from my pinky to my elbow. It was like I had hit my funny bone but the pain and tingling wouldn't stop. I tried using a butter knife (hey my options were limited in my apartment!) to shove a cloth into the cast to see if I was actually bleeding, but it was so tight that it was impossible. I tried soaking the cast for a long time then whacking at it with a large knife but it was like hitting a brick. My American made cast could have probably withstood being run over by truck.

I talked to some friends in the US who are nurses and decided I had to get the cast removed due to the danger of a pressure sore. Also, I was going to lose my mind from the pain. Fortunately I brought my spica splint from the original ER visit in the US and had that for the dr to put back on. The dr prescribed an anti inflamatory and a pain cream for the nerve pain. It took several days for it to quit feeling like I had smacked my funny bone on my wrist. Just the relief from having the cast off felt soooo much better though.
I was SO NERVOUS about going to a Ukrainian hospital. I was in a crazy amount of pain but completely unable to explain it to the doctor beyond "It hurts a lot here." I managed to explain it felt "hot" and "hurts a lot." I have never wished I could speak the language more. Everyone was extremely nice though, and assured me they could take the cast off just fine. The case of Bosch tools with the cast cutter in it freaked me right out, but it all went fine. The doctor loved my American cast so much that he asked to keep it. Their casting material is only white and I guess just the plaster that we used to use in the US before we switched to fiberglass about 20 years ago. My cast was waterproof with a special lining that I could take a shower with. Its not something they have in Ukraine. 

Me: relieved - feeling like a vice grip had been removed from my wrist.
What had happened was the swelling was putting pressure on a nerve in my wrist. Thankfully I didn't have an open wound, just some very angry nerves that calmed down after a week or so.

Sunday, November 4, 2018


Due to some privacy concerns, I quit blogging during our process. We are home now so I’m going to publish posts in the order that they happened.

I went back to Ukraine by myself for court. I left on a Sunday, traveled to Kyiv and then Khmelnytskiy. We had court which is always stressful for me, but even more so this time because it was just me answering questions. I’m happy when its over! The judge and prosecutor asked their questions. I answered, and the judge said congratulations.   
I stayed one more day to spens time with Y.

We went to a town about an hour away where I had one of the best days of my life. The castle was so interesting, the town was beautiful, the day was lovely and we had lunch cooked over a fire. I had the best cup of coffee in my life at a little coffee shop. Basically it ruined coffee for me. It was that amazing. Everything was peaceful, beautiful and picturesque. 
I left wishing I could live there. 

Y fell asleep in my lap on the way back to Khmelnytskiy. Honestly it was just what we needed to have, a fantastic day before I had to say goodbye again for a month while we waited out the 30 days after court.

Thursday, August 2, 2018

A Project While I Wait

I know, I know... we're in the middle of an international adoption. What am I doing with a side project!? 
Hah! Well, honestly it was my brother's idea. He asked for my help, so I jumped on board because it is an amazing idea. How many times have I ever wished for an easy button to push in my life?? A LOT.  If you have followed my blog for a while, you will remember how difficult things were for us right after adopting M. You will also remember my struggle to balance all.of.the.things. in well...LIFE while fundraising and paperchasing for our three boys. I'm sure no one can forget the special education nightmare we were forced to endure for several years while fighting to get our kids therapies, services and an education. Add in day to day life juggled around doctors, therapists, school meetings, my health issues, kids that have extra needs... well you get the idea. Some days (most days) I could use help, but its not there.

My brother and I a few years ago at his graduation
I've usually got around 99 problems, and this app we've come up with could solve about 57 of them. So this is a very personal project for me. If there have been times when I am struggling this much, I know others are too.
But what to do about it?? 
The UNITE App. 

Have you ever wished that there was an app on your phone that would let only your select neighbors who are willing to help know you spent all night at the ER with your toddler and could really use a hot breakfast while someone walked the dog? What about those times you’ve sat in a hospital wishing someone could mow your lawn and put your trash on the curb, but you don’t want to beg on social media? Or maybe you just need to sit at home and recover, but there aren’t any groceries and you can hardly make a sandwich. Are you having an issue with getting to your appointments? Do you just need a friend to lend a hand once a week for tasks that prove a bit too much?
The Unite App is designed to help people with every day tasks, and was born out of a wish for more community help. Over the past two years my brother, Daniel, who is an active duty military serviceman, has had three surgeries due to over-training or training accidents. Two of these left him on crutches and mostly immobile for months at a time while living alone in a third story apartment. Another injury and surgery left his dominant arm completely immobile for months. Simple things like making a meal, grocery shopping, driving to therapy appointments, laundry, and picking up prescriptions were exercises in frustration.

As a mom to seven kids, living in another state, there was very little I could do to help him from that distance. The physical and emotional difficulties he faced through those recoveries, made him better understand and empathize with those who deal with long term disabilities. The guilt and worry I felt, knowing he was alone and struggling made me wish there was some way to let his community know when he needed assistance.
Daniel’s spirit of community is a direct reflection of the lessons that he grew up with along with the value of service he embodies daily as an active member of the United States Army. Living with injuries opened his eyes to a deeper need in our communities. As an adoptive mom to four children with special needs, I am part of a community that already experiences some of the highest caregiver burnout rates due to advocating for my kids extensive needs; then I had two back to back health crisis.
A few years ago when I was put on bedrest during pregnancy for life threatening placenta previa, I found myself wishing that someone was available to just grocery shop, food prep, and do housework. As I sat in bed or on the couch all day, I felt so alone and completely helpless for months! I had so many things that I needed to get done. What I wouldn’t have given just to have had a little help both during my pregnancy and the weeks after. I struggled with one health issues after another, mostly stemming from exhaustion due to never being able to fully recover.
A few months after the birth of little E, I was rushed to the ER and into emergency surgery. I again found myself completely isolated while trying to care for my children during my recovery. Just an hour a day of someone’s time would have been an incredible gift that would have saved me a lot of physical pain and exhaustion.
With the rise of social media we have never had the ability to be more connected online yet we can be completely isolated in our communities. I live in a neighborhood full of people, but I had no easy way to let my neighbors know that I was having a health crisis and desperately needed help with my kids at the bus stop. I wondered how many others are struggling and feel isolated while surrounded by neighbors? Together my brother and I have combined our strengths of team building, social media, and compassion for others to create an app that allows people in the community to see when their neighbors need help.
Unite is an app, currently in the development stages, that has the ability to unite ALL of us as we work together to assist those who need a little help to have and sustain their quality of life. It will be offered FREE on the App Store to everyone. A person with a need would put up a simple post via the app, much like a job listing, allowing anyone nearby who has availability to help to see the need immediately.
Unite will have the ability to galvanize the bonds of community in our local towns and cities by combining team building and community service to not only benefit those in need, but also make it easier to unite those wanting to help. Anyone will now be able to easily find help for grocery shopping, yard work, flat tires, food prep, transportation, prescription pick up, and more. With imagination as the only limiting factor, anyone with a need or the ability to meet one will find Unity is a good match for them.
We are fundraising to complete development of Unite on Kickstarter, and are currently looking for input on features that people, both potential users and potential helpers would like to see in this app, as well as ideas on how to best advertise its availability.

Back home waiting

We spent two weeks in region with Y. It was so good to see her again!!

Her best friend was officially adopted a few days ago. They had to say goodbye 😭
It makes me so happy and so sad at the same time. 

Now we are back home awaiting trip #2!
I leave Sunday and will be flying by myself this trip. It was so hard to leave Y. This process is so long and difficult. Managing the kids at home and all the day to day things on top of blogging (hah!), fundraising, and adoption paperwork is proving to be a lot! We had to do more forms for the embassy since Phillip isnt traveling with me. Fun fun. More things to notarize!

E had tongue surgery on Tuesday.  He had asignificant  tongue tie so we hope this helps with his speech, snoring, and chewing. 

We are still fundraising for our third and final trip. Thank you for sharing or donating!

Sunday, July 15, 2018

In country

We had our SDA appointment, traveled from Kyiv by train and met Y. We have been staying in region doing paperwork since Wednesday. 

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

We have a date!

Today is a great day! We received our appointment date of July 10. We fly out July 8 to Kyiv.

Also, Honeycomb Hope is featuring our family this week!
Honeycomb Hope

Also our other fundraisers are still going. People can get a tax deduction for donating via

We have our custom tshirts under “favorite products” on One Mission and supporters can donate with no platform fee!

We fly out in 25 days and still need roughly $7000. Please share our links! 

Saturday, May 26, 2018

On this day...

16 years ago I had just turned 17 and was graduating High School a year early. I had absolutely no idea that this girl was being born half a world away. I had no idea that I had a daughter I had not met.

I’d travel to the country she was born in twice. Once when she was 8, and again when she was 12, spending so much time in a place she would soon be, but it took 15 years, a crazy request I almost said no to, then my sad little boy at an orphanage wanting to talk to his host mama on Facetime before I’d actually meet her through her gently coaxing our little guy how to speak English. She was the one who let me know he was gone. I cried and hoped it was for the best. Then she asked us to host her  instead, and I remember the fear. The reasons we had why not to...they seem so trivial now. 

I guess what I am seeing now is that there were so many chances to say no in our lives, but if we had said no to any of them, we wouldn’t have met her. So I am thankful for all the times we said yes when we had every reason to say no - even when it was crazy hard and ridiculously inconvenient. Because today she is chosen and loved; I can see God’s hand all over her life and ours. 

How could I have known at 17 that I already had a child? God revealed it to me when the time was right for us to do something about it. My own teen years were full of rejection and pain, but looking back now I can see God had this plan in mind for me the whole time. I am so excited and blessed that I get to be her mom ❤️ I love you Y! 
I only wish I could have met you sooner so I could have loved you longer. 
#happybirthday #adoptionstory 
Our dossier has been submittee - we are waiting for an appointment!

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Monday, May 14, 2018

Now We Wait

Last Monday we received our immigration approval in the mail. We raced to Richmond to have it apostilled, meeting my dad on the way to pick up the docuement from Florida. He had to pick them up from the fedex delivery center because FedEx decided two day delivery didn’t count the day it was shipped 😐

We Fedexed our dossier to Ukraine on Monday afternoon, and after having to call and call to remind Fedex we paid over $200 for Friday delivery, it was delivered to our facilitator in Kyiv.

It was submitted today! We are told to expect travel by the end of June, maybe sooner. 

This means we really need to finish fundraising! We are short about $9K.
Please share this post to help us out!

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Grant Application - heartbreak

I spent two hours today applying for an adoption grant only to find out that not having a church means we don’t qualify 😭

It doesn’t matter to them how or why. It doesn’t matter that we DID have a church, or that we had the rug pulled out from under us five years ago, only months after coming home with three new kids and getting multiple surprise diagnosis. Or that advocating for my kids’ significant educational and emotional needs is why staff and leadership retailiated against our family. It doesn’t seem to matter that we are still Christians who love Jesus, love orphans, teach our kids to be kind and decent humans, and submitted a statement of faith. 

It only matters that right now we don’t have a church. 

While I will dust myself off and keep fundraising until we get her home, well today that just really hurts because there is nothing I would ever go back and do differently. 

This to me is everything that’s wrong with Christianity and “the church” as America knows it. Who gets to decide that some families (and subsequently some children) are not worthy of helping? I get that any organization has the right to refuse whomever they want. I really do. 

This just seems stupid to me and right now it stings.

Monday, April 23, 2018


We hand delivered our dossier to the Secretary of the Commonwealth for apostilles today. Policy is that for more than 20 items, you have to come back the next day. We had 42 and were fully prepared to come back tomorrow to pick them up.
The lady at the desk said, I can have them done today by 3pm and I’ll call you if they’re done earlier. 
So we stayed in Richmond and ate an early lunch, went to Once Upon a Child for a few second hand clothes and hung out outside a bit. I overnighted our documents needing Florida apostilles at a Fedex location. 

At 2pm we got a call that they were done!

$225 later - our dossier is 98% complete.

We are waiting on apostilles from our documents coming from Florida and we are waiting on our immigration clearance from USCIS.

Monday, April 16, 2018


I have been working on prepping our dossier documents. All sorts of personal information has to go into each one. Passport info, DOB, address, phone, etc.

I printed them all off today so we could get them notarized. We had to take our passports to a pack and ship place to get copies of our passports made because our printer is just not acting right. So we paid for those and went right to the bank to sign our names 292003 times.

I'm scanning those documents now to send to our facilitator in Ukraine to make sure they're ok before sending them to be apostiled in Richmond. There are a few I'm concerned about because Ukraine doesn't want a smudge or scratch out or mis-stroke anywhere on anything as they view it as potentially forged. Clearly we don't want to have any issues with our documents so we're being incredibly meticulous and careful. I've done this before so I know what to look for! 

Homestudy oops...

I found a typo on our homestudy yesterday as I was prepping documents for apostiles. I of course immediately sent out urgent emails to everyone involved so we could get this fixed ASAP.

I called USCIS this morning to ask if we could send just the updated page or needed to send another whole homestudy. The lady said, "Oh this was just a typo. We probably wouldn't have seen it." Umm ok. Its a BIG DEAL typo. Anyways, we can send just the page. Its being mailed from our social worker today, and shouldn't delay anything!

I've printed off our dossier documents and we're going to try to have them notarized today at the bank. Our printer has caught the devil and is refusing to make a decent copy of our passports so we're heading to my dad's to use his copier. We need FOUR notarized copies of each of our passports.

The authentications office called me this morning. They received my authentication request for our FBI clearances, but I didn't select a country of use on their form (it was incredibly vague and confusing). That was easily taken care of though, and its being authenticated today then mailed back to us! Another dossier document nearly complete.

Please continue to share our fundraising links. We haven't had a donation in a while and we still have quite a bit to raise.
Time is ticking down.
Thanks for your support.

Please share our fundraising links.

Monday, April 9, 2018


The kids’ driver was late this morning and its dumping snow on April 9th, but we’re on our way to Alexandria to get fingerprinted at USCIS. 4 hr round trip here we go. 

Monday, April 2, 2018


Our homestudy is complete, approved, and off to USCIS!
We already received our fingerprint appointments! April 10! 
We completed our homestudy in under two mo nths. That’s really amazing considering most people take 6-8 months. I was absolutely dreading all of the paperwork because its a crushing amount! But we slammed it out. I’m pretty friggen good at paperwork now.
Practice makes perfect 😂

Y’s best friend is being adopted now (and siblings) so her family is there at the orphanage. I’ve gotten some cute photos of Y lately. She and her friend are apparently planning how to remain in touch once they’re both here in the US. Her friend will be in Kansas which is a long way, but not as far as Ukraine!

We are doing well with our fundraising. We re-raised the matching grant amount amd paid our supervising agency. Fortunately they were understanding of our situation and it did not delay our paperwork. 

We still need to raise between $8-10K for flights, facilitator fees, lodging, travel, food. I know it will come. We started off with nothing and here we are just a few months later with US fees paid, sitting pretty waiting on Immigration approval. 

We are nearly done with our dossier documents. We got the medicals done (allelujah!) the first time. I mailed our FBI prints off last week. We have a few more documemts hanging out there but we are actually quite close to being done. (What!?)

Things just need to be notarized and apostilled before they’re sent to Ukraine!

Please continue to share our fundraising links. 

Saturday, March 17, 2018

A Fundraising Plea

Oh the ups and downs up adoption.

We were approached by someone who wanted to sponsor a matching grant for us a few months ago. We gladly accepted and raised the amount in record time. The money we raised paid our home study fees and the matching $2500 grant was to pay our supervising agency fees. We found out today that the sponsor has been unable to donate the $2500 to our supervising agency due to an emergency issue with one of their children. While we completely understand that this was an unforeseen issue, and do not fault them for their decision, we have been left $2500 short at a time when we need to pay this fee immediately or hold up our process.

So - we are asking for our friends to rally around and share our fundraiser until we are able to make up the $2500. Y turns 16 very soon and we wanted to submit before that date.

Please share our video.

Please share our fundraising links.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Dossier Time

We had our final homestudy visit yesterday, and are down to the Ukrainian dossier documents. We have some. Others are fairly simple to obtain. The home ownership letter, employment verification letter and medical forms are in the process of being completed. We need to schedule another FBI fingerprint appointment. Hoping to wrap this show up in another three weeks or so and take all notarized documents to Richmond to be apostilled. The last document we get should be immigration approval from USCIS (golden ticket) to submit our dossier to the adoption authority in Ukraine.

This also means our next round of fees will be due soon.
$6500 is left to fundraise and airfare for 3 round trip flights as well as transportation and lodging in Ukraine. 
Use friends and family to donate with no fees 💕

She misses us. We miss her.
Going as fast as we can...

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Progress, slow but steady

We received another dossier document today from the Ukrainian Consulate. We are required to register our adopted children and provide reports on their progress and well-being once a year for 3 three years and then once a year after that until they turn 18.
To adopt again, parents must prove they did this. I requested a letter last week stating we registered and provided reports for our kids. I was delighted to receive it today!

We continue to fundraise. 
We still need roughly $9500.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

An Update

We are continuing to plug away at paperwork. We had to reschedule our home study visits from next week to the following week due to a medical issue our social worker is experiencing. Honestly, that's been our first setback and in adoptions there always are some. We are hoping this doesn't delay the completion of our home study. We have done the paperwork for it, we are just waiting on the visits and the updated writeup.

Phillip has his medical forms appointment next week and that will wrap up the medicals. I have already had all seven of the children's medicals completed. Those seven appointments were honestly causing me the most stress out of any of the paperwork, so I am relived to have them done, as well as mine. I took four kids after their half day of school last Friday and spent 90 minutes getting the forms done. It was long and I hate exposing everyone to germs, but we did hand sanitizer and Elderberry syrup and everyone has been fine.

Dogs have been vaccinated. FBI fingerprints have been sent off. Driving records have been requested. Marriage certificates have been obtained...

We have officially started on our dossier documents as well. We are hoping to have the hot mess that is adoption paperwork come to a beautiful conclusion at the same time with our home study being approved and our dossier paperwork being completed at the same time. Having done this twice before I know that this sounds easy but is not actually likely! I'm going to try anyways.

We still have a good portion to fundraise. $6500 in facilitator fees, and then flights, accommodations, and lodging for three trips. We are about halfway there!

You can donate to any of our fundraising sites.

ONE MISSION has a donate option at the bottom of the page and charges us no fees..

ADOPT TOGETHER is an IRS approved 501 (3) c organization, however they do take 5%.

PAYPAL - donate directly to us with no fee using friends and family option. This gives us instant access to the money for fees. We have a separate bank account we're using for adoption funds.

We'll leave it up to our supporters to decide how they would rather donate towards bringing Y home!

Please SHARE this post to help share our story or use the links on our profile to share our AdoptTogether fundraiser on LinkedIn, FB, Pinterest, Twitter, G+, and email.

Sharing our story is a huge help that we cannot do without our friends. The more exposure, the more chances people have to see our story, and you just never know who might donate.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018


We received confirmation our I600a was logged. We officially stopped the clock for Y and have extra time to complete her adoption after she turns 16. 

We also met our matching grant!
Thank you so much to those who donated! Our US fees are paid!

We are onto fundraising for facilitator fees, embassy fees and flights/accommodations for three trips.

We get to video chat sometimes so that’s nice. We know she’s doing ok.

Please continue to share our fundraising post a bit farther down. We still have a ways to go.

Donate Via Paypal to our adoption fund.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Its off

We mailed our I600a off with its required fees today. We went back and forth a few times on waiting for our homestudy to be completed to file with it, but since Y turns 16 soon, and our homestudy won't be ready for 2 months, we decided to just file it now and ensure our filing date is well before the deadline. 

Our facilitator in Ukraine asked us if we can be there before summer. Well I don't know, but we are going to assemble this dossier as fast as possible and pray we get there sooner rather than later. 

Monday, January 29, 2018

Matching Grant!

We have been given an amazing opportunity by a sweet friend to raise up to $5000 with a $2500 matching grant. This would be amazing because it will pay nearly all of our agency fees for the US side of things.

We have until February 23rd to raise the money. From now until then, every dollar given equals two!

You can donate to either of our fundraising sites.

ONE MISSION has a donate option at the bottom of the page and charges us no fees..

ADOPT TOGETHER is an IRS approved 501 (3) c organization, however they do take 5%.

PAYPAL - donate directly to us with no fee using friends and family option. This gives us instant access to the money for fees. 

We'll leave it up to our supporters to decide how they would rather donate towards bringing Y home!

Please SHARE this post every day to help us reach our goal of raising $2500 by February 23rd!

Use the links on our profile to Share our AdoptTogether fundraiser on LinkedIn, FB, Pinterest, Twitter, G+, and email. Sharing our story is a huge help that we cannot do without our friends. The more exposure, the more chances people have to see our story, and you just never know who might donate.

We appreciate every share, like, and donation. We especially appreciate our friends who have been in the trenches of fundraising, adoption, loss, and therapy with us, and are such an example of unconditional love. THANK YOU FRIENDS

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

How to Help Us Bring Y Home

Last time we adopted, we fundraised the entire amount. We had to. We have enough money to take care of our family expenses, but we don't have extra money laying around at the end of every paycheck.

Money has been particularly tight since we have been homeschooling the kids and paying for all special education curriculum, therapy, equipment, subscriptions, and supplies out of pocket. We are so happy about private placement for D, V, E, and M because this has greatly reduced our financial strain.

AdoptTogether was an amazing resource for us to fundraise with four years ago when we adopted our boys, so we are using them again.

Click Here to Donate via AdoptTogether
All donations are tax deductible.

Our immediate need is to have our homestudy completed as soon as possible because due to Y's age we need to file an I600a before her 16th birthday in a few months, but try to have the adoption completed within 180 days after approval. That's really pushing things! The homestudy requires a $300 application fee, $1300 homestudy fee (2 visits), and 3 post placements visits ($900) to be paid in full before our homestudy will be released to us to file with USCIS (immigration).

I have created a fundraiser for our most urgent fees that ends in 30 days. 

Our supervising agency requires $250 application fee, and a $2500 supervising fee (international requirements and coordination) before we can submit our dossier.

We already raised the $775 for USCIS and $85 x 2 for biometrics (finger prints).

We'll have CPS clearances, state police clearances, and driving records checked all with fairly nominal fees.

I have to get medical forms completed, marriage and birth certificates, and we have to buy a license for each of our dogs. (Yes I know)

We have to do all of this in record time.

We are also planning to rehost Y this summer from June-August because she has been so distraught at having to go back to the orphanage and begging to come home for summer. Those fees are $3k. We won't leave her there just because she'll eventually come home for good. She msgs every day saying she misses us. We'll do whatever we can to have her here while we finish up paperwork.

Please share our post. Ask your friends to share. Share with your church or community group. We need a lot of support in a small amount of time, and we are doing this more alone than ever before. We are really under a significant time crunch!

Click Here to Donate

Friday, January 19, 2018

I told myself not to

I told myself not to fall in love. I set my mind against it. We were just hosting. It was just four weeks. We were not comitting to anything beyond being a host family. Y said she just wanted to visit America, not be adopted

I think she did the same thing. 
"I won't fall in love."
Abandonment has already been part of her life. She had a host family over the summer that she didn't connect well with. She told me "They a little bit no like me." She was scared we wouldn't either. I was scared to like her because I know how much it hurts to love and then have to let go. 

But somewhere in the four weeks she was here it happened, mostly by accident. It was like she had always been here. It wasn't weird or difficult. It was like she belonged. The kids felt it. I felt it. My husband felt it. She must have felt it too because she shocked our socks off when she said she loved us and wanted to stay forever.

We started to try to think about it but were surprised to find our minds already made up. 

Of course she's yours so go get her already.

We raised $1000 in one day so we could file our I600a. Her 16th birthday is soon and we have to file that form before then to assure she will be given a visa after the adoption is complete in Ukraine. 

I don't know when we went from "only hosting" to adopting again. I just know that my girl is sad, lonely and asking for me to come get her "for forever" at least 10 times a day. 

We plan to re-host her for summer since its for 12 weeks from June-August. She can be here while we finish the paperwork process, and hopefully we can get her soon after. 

I never in a million years thought we'd be doing this again 🤣

Thanks for following along (again)!

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life; but those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,are carried on the wings of destiny; and placed among us by God's very own hands. --Kristi Larson